Rave? Behave!

Was I right or was I right? Microsoft rolled out the avatars and clearly didn't think it through. It was only a little while back I mentioned the lack of options. Now at Major Nelson's blog the new set of clothes for this week is Rave. Oh our God. Is it me or are they absolutely clueless?

Rave? Are they serious? Did that not die and get buried along with Acid House and  Stadium Metal Rock. I am sure I went to their funeral? Blue fingerless gloves and Day-glo zebra print pumps. That is what is on offer. Check it here.  Microsoft, will you sack your fashion slash pop culture consultant, because he or she has lied to you. Rave was 15 years ago and it has not been dead long enough to be brought back as retro.  It is embrassing to even look at the stuff.

But here's a genre you should explore. One that everyone of your first 10 million subscribers that signed to your console in the first place, can relate to. Gaming culture. Master Chief helmets, Marcus Fenix headbands or even Sam Fisher Night vision goggles. The list is endless and people WOULD pay for this. Idiots.

Xbox Fanboy-ism

Take a good look at my crib. I have now ten Xbox 360's just in case I get Red Rings Of Death again. As for all those games on the left, they are just my weekend "to do list". The real pile is on the other side of the room. 

Is this for real? Of course not. My TV is way bigger than that. This actually belongs to an uber Japanese Xbox 360 fan. Read it here. He has every limited edition console released and every game released for the Xbox 360 in Japan. Is he a whacko? Well he has some fried chicken and cake included in the picture. So lets just assume he could possibly be a little bonkers. He also only has six hard drives and that's just plain stupid. 

But if any one out there has a partner that really isn't into your gaming, and you want to get rid of them, then this would be the way to go. Simply re-create the picture using your joint savings account and wait for them to come home after a hard day at work. Do include the fried chicken and cake. They will be your  piéce de résistance that will define your insanity.

A Week In Gaming

It's been a week since I have blogged here, but that was due to the recent changes at my other site. A lot can happen in a week of gaming. Like a Nintendo DS catches fire and burns down a house. A fireplace is added to Xbox Live and I have spent a whole week not mentioning Xbox 360 avatars.

Where? What house you ask? Read it here. Along with your seasonal snow globe comes a fireplace that you can download for 5 bucks. Where? Read that here. Now that I have got those two news items out the way, I can get back to the avatars.

Ok, it has been a month now and we have only two sets of new clothing. A Ski set and Formal Wear. Why? Where's the commando battle gear? My Klingon facial features? The option to go naked (well semi-naked)? Forget about games for a while Microsoft, and get back to the "so much options" you promised with our avatars. I don't want to be wearing the same t-shirt for a whole week. I don't do it in real life, so why should I do it here? The clothes you have totally suck. Give at least some zombie looks next time. Like a zombie infected with an alien parasite. Let me scare some kids.

Znow Globe

This will end the console wars for good. You can now throw your friends into a snow globe and shake them about. Oh joy.

This is the kind of stuff that inevitably comes with a hardcore games console. If you are finding hard to resist the temptation to try it out, go to your dashboard's Spotlight page. There's no download required, so you can pretty much do it straight away. I can't wait for more killer applications like this. 

Eventually the New Xbox Experience will no longer be "new", and they will rename it Zone It Xbox Experience. They will rename all the menu's and tag everything with a "z"  because that's what "tween girls" (girls aged between 9 - 12) like. Spotlightz, My Xbox Zone, Friendz, Party On Girlfriendz, Chat Zone. Don't believe me? Just you check out that Snow Glode. Sorry, Znow Globe.

Easy Point Community Game

If you have wandered around the New Xbox Experience,  you might have stumble across a menu item called Community Games. What are they? They are games developed by the community, for the community. 

Members of the XNA (game developing software) Creators Club can upload games (after review) and make money. The club is not exclusive, but you do need to download XNA and need to subscribe to the club, but it is all free.

Sounds cool, eh? Except from my point of view. You cannot get achievements from these games. I had a great plan of downloading the software and developing a crappy game and place two achievements worth 500 points each.  One to start the game, the other to push "B" on your controller. Knock Avatar : The Last Airbender game off the "1000 points in under 2 mins" list. Not only would I gain 1000 points super, super easy, but I am sure a game like this would have been top download of the year and I would have made a hunk of money.

But noooo. Microsoft have no balls to allow achievements on these games fearing people like me would trivialize the Community Games. Look, if gamers want to download my crappy easy point game, then it is up to them. If someone else develops a good game and no one wants to download it, then tough sh*t. Tell someone who cares.  Sounds reasonable, don't you think?

MGS for the Xbox 360?

One for X-Files more like. Over on the official Metal Gear Solid website Konami, there is a strange webpage with just the symbols above in the pic. Conspiracy theories have flooded in that the green "start" button looks supiciously like an Xbox 360 start button.   

Well for a start (excuse the pun), shouldn't it be red. Like the Red Ring of Death? It should also be on it's side, if you check your Xbox. Go ahead, have a look. There is also a small dot in the center that the Xbox does not carry. One poster at XF3 site suggests the both the "i" are at polarity so 180 + 180 = 360 degrees. Ok, whatever Fox Mulder.

That "i' symbol could mean anything. iPhone, DSi, Canon 250i, iDog Food, iBean Bag maybe even iCrack. Who knows? Stick an "i" in anything these days and it sounds innovative.  We all want Metal Gear Solid on the Xbox 360, but I don't think this is it. As I have had previously mentioned, if it were to port over to the 360, it would probably come in 3-6 discs anyway, because the cut scenes take forever.

Real Lancer

Ok, now I'm scared. This guy in the picture has constructed a real-life working chain saw Lancer (a gun from Gears of War), but it is not the gun that it is scray, it's him. He say's he made it to kill zombies.

Right. I am staying well away from him. There's a YouTube video here if you want to see him in action. Leave a message that he can seek help. I personally think some people are beyond help, especially the ones that believe in zombies. What gets me, is this a homage to Gears or what? Because if he thinks Locusts in the game are zombies, the mind boggles of what he thinks the story is on other games?

You know what, I don't want to know. The world is full of weird loco nuts, and he is one of them. What would I do if he sends me a friend request? Delete.

Lego Harry Potter Not!

There is a rumor that Traveller's Tales, the developers of the Lego series of games, are developing a Lego Harry Potter. This just proves, that Traveller's Tales are just shooting in the dark now.

The whole novelty of the Lego series and the comic feel was that they turned a well known adult themed movie franchise into a kids game. Harry Potter is a kid's franchise. So turning a kid's game into a kid's game seems pointless. I mean everybody has an IMO of what should be turned into a Lego game, but mine is the mutts nuts. Alien vs Predator.

Sure Halo or Final Fantasy could be good, but they are niche, because only gamers know them. Halo would actually look kind of weird, as it is an FPS, and it would have to be done as a third person shooter. Spiderman or X Men would could be fun, but digging into that super hero bucket again seems too obvious and besides the story plots of many super heroes are not well known. This is why Lego Batman created their own plots.

I was torn between Terminator vs Robocop at first, but Alien vs Predator won over. Why? Because they totally balls up a potentially good idea. Both the movies of Alien vs Predator were complete shite, dire and embarrassing. Having Alien and Predator run around in Lego form would completely dilute their previous legendary movies, but who cares? Never mind the plot, I just want to play co-op with the Predator and kill people. Harry Potter my arse.