No Girl Gamers.

After yesterday's post, a gamer messaged me on Xbox Live saying I don't like girl gamers. Untrue! I absolutely love them. Check this site out, as I think it is way super cool. Chicks Digs Games I just hate some guys attitudes towards girl gamers. I personally think it's great that girls play. They deserve spot in the gaming community as much as everyone else. There is actually no girl gamers, just girls who play games. I will still shoot them if they get in my way of course.

Did you know that 38% of gamers are girls. That's quite a lot. Unfortunately where are all of you, because I rarely come across any. In fact all the girls I have ever dated, are not into gaming. Which brings me to another point someone asked me recently. If I had to choose between a game and a girl, which would I choose? Easy. The game of course. Which is probably why I have had a lot of girlfriends. Maybe I should re-address my priorities.

Girl Gamers

The other day I was watching a buddy play Facebook poker. Similar to Xbox 360 Achievement system, it has player achievements. The more chips you win, the higher your ranking. There's no real money, just the lure of achieving a high ranking.

Now my buddy is a sucker for a pretty girl, so during the game, with five other males at the table, he blatantly gives the young pretty girl 10,000 in poker chips. I said "dude, what are you doing?" " Well.. she's hot and she is almost broke, I don't want her to leave" he said. As soon as she accepted, you could see all the other males start doing the same. After she got about 50,000, she then left the table. Do you see what I see? Yes, I am pretty sure that the girl was a guy, acting like a girl, to get easy chips. My buddy was adamant it wasn't, but why would someone take all the chips then leave? 

Some guys just act all different when a girl enters. It happened once to me on Halo 3 multiplayer. All these guys could hear some sexy girl voice then started to help her with achievements and kills while at the same time trying to chat her up. I couldn't remember her Gamertag but it had some hot model as her gamerpic. I was the only one shooting at her. I don't care. If you're a hot looking girl or guy, I am still gonna shoot you if you are in my way.

Actually I am a bit short on Halo 3 multiplayer achievements. Might change my Gamertag name to SEXYGIRL and gamerpic to real hot looking model.  Get a friend who is a girl to come over and chat over the headset and act helpless. Should clean up most of the points in an afternoon.

 

Enemy Territory : Quake Wars

Now I have seen some game trailers in my time. We all have. Less so than movies, trailers rarely break a game. So many times they include huge chunks of cut-scenes and very little footage of gameplay, that gamers have really begun to distrust them. But check this one out for Enemy Territory : Quake Wars 

Too many games take themselves far too seriously. It is nice once in a while we get a game trailer that says what you see, is what you get, and deliver some humor with it. There is nothing actually ground breaking in the gameplay, but it doesn't matter. The developers have decided to put in everything a MTBOFPS wants. No, it's nothing like a MMORPG. Get with the program. What's a MTBOFPS? A Multiplayer-Team-Based-Orientated-First-Person-Shooter. Pay attention, this is serious stuff.

The last Quake game I played was Quake 4 and I thought it was pretty lame. Had some story, but I had no idea what was going on. Something about the Strogg and then you flipped sides or something half way. Anyway, this game looks like a vast improvement. Otherwise it will end up being another MTBOFPS-TS. A Mulitipalyer-Team-Based-Orientated-First-Person-Shooter-That-Sucks. Gee, do I have to spell it out?   

Chessmaster Live Exciting?

Now I haven't been a big fan of Xbox Live Arcade games, mainly because there's only a maximum of 200 achievement points. Although I have downloaded a couple of games, including Pac-man. It was only because I had this girl coming around for dinner who wasn't really into video games. But she casually mentioned Pac-man. Now red and blue ghosts swallowing pills? I don't get it. Anyway, I am sure it was probably the only video game she has ever heard of, so I figured I needed a conversational piece.

But a couple of months back, Xbox Live Marketplace released Chessmaster Live. Now I know what your thinking. Chess ? How can chess be made more exciting and next-gen? Chess is chess. And you will be right. It can't be. Nevertheless I can't think of a more easy game to cheat than this playing online. Challenge some wannabe Kasparov with the laptop computer next to you giving you hints. Do every move with an evil chuckle. 

Yes, cheap sleazy tactic I know. Now anyone who sees my Gamertag on Chessmaster Live will avoid me. I better shut up next time when Xbox Live release Scrabble.

Red Incredible Hulk.

I forgot to mention this last week, but if anyone bought a copy of The Incredible Hulk game for the Xbox 360 from GameStop (either on-line or in-store), they received a RED hulk. That's right red. I mean, was the guy tanked at the Hulk toy factory and flicked red instead of green? 

I suspect it is story related from the movie, like maybe he turns red when he becomes angry or something. Actually he turns green when he becomes angry, so maybe that's not it either. But I actually want one of these. I love the crap they give away with games sometimes. The game is crap, so have some more crap.

Actually I take anything that's free. Never been discriminative against any game that gives away useless plastic, key ring or T-Shirt. Definitely sure it makes me play better. Check my score on The Incredible Hulk when I pick it up. 

Xbox Live Gamertag Change

Recently Microsoft ruled on a Gamertag named "RichardGaywood" and banned it. Now whatever the politics, the fact is, that this is his real name. Which brings me to my point. How stupid can you be? Why would you want to put down your real name? You are just asking for identity theft. They will find your address, pick up your Xbox Elite and take your 42'' HD plasma screen with it and any Walmart bling you got lying around.

Now I know some people have to live with names that they are both ashamed or proud of, but why advertise it using your Gamertag. Then these people sit and wonder why they get robbed and feel victimised. So just in case there are some out there who are going to check my Gamertag , Slam Da Brakes, let me save you a lot of trouble. I live in a small town called San Andreas. Wait no, thats right I moved. To Liberty City.

Guitar Hero Gets Drums and Mic

Now I have never played Guitar hero on the Xbox 360. Apparently the achievement points can be quite hard. Hence, probably why I have steered away from them. Some of my friends have played the series and say it can be good fun. Fun? That's not why I am playing the Xbox. I play for points.

However this next instalment, Guitar Hero World Tour will include drums and a microphone. He, he. There's got to be a way to cheat for achievements. I know a buddy who is a drummer. I have known him since I was about fourteen when we formed a band together, like you do. I played bass, but all I was interested in was girls we could get and video games. Nothing much has changed there then. Could be also my bass skills were pretty lame.

My buddy has since continued to drum, gone on world tours and basically rocks on drums. He looks like Jack Black, but has huge biceps to match his rock god status.

So here's my plan. Invite my buddy over, give him refreshments and talk about the days when we wanted to rock the world then stick on Guitar Hero World Tour. Should unlock 1000 points in an afternoon.

Xbox Light Sabre

Yesterday I posted a picture about Microsoft's supposed plan of releasing a motion controller similar to the Wii. Click here to take another look. Yeah look closely. What do you see? I tell you what I see....Light Sabre.

Please God, release this before Star Wars : The Force Unleashed. Preferably Dark Carbon Evil Black. If I am going to play Darth Vader's apprentice then I might as well have a controller to match my Empire Black Cape. I will make arrangements to move the furniture around so I have a full 360˚ of clear space to swing.

Man and I hope for the future, they can stick a mother of a lazer coming out of the top. How sweet would that be?     

XBOX 360 Motion Controller Yes!

Rumors and speculation at the moment, but Microsoft may be planning to release a motion controller similar to the Nintendo Wii. Read the article here. A lot of Xbox 360 gamers in forums have expressed their opinions against this, saying it will trivialize the Xbox 360 from being a serious console. I found this picture on the internet here.

Old school gamers, eh. Scared that their kid sister could beat them at Forza Motorsport  or Rainbow Six Vegas simply by waving their controller in the right direction. No more button bashing for Dead or Alive or Dynasty Warriors. They expect to see a flood of Wii style kids games like Ten Pin Bowling and Hula-hoop dancing games released for Xbox 360.

I can't wait. Bring it on (and hopefully before Xmas so I can ask Santa. Don't tell he's not real, because where do all the elves in department stores come from?). Finally a controller that can easily be used to cheat and get achievements. Tape two together for Co-op missions and finish missions in half the time.

Real Xbox Gangsta

I have been away from my Xbox 360 for the last couple of days. You probably can tell from the my 360voice.com blog feed that I haven't shown up. I have been looking after a friend with a bad back.

Now I don't mind looking after her, but she could tell I was suffering withdrawal symptoms. Rocking on the sofa, not really hungry. Eventually the urge got to me. So while she was on Facebook, I ventured into her 12 year old son's bedroom and turned on his Xbox 360. Managed to get a few achievements for him on Harry Potter and Cars, but it's not the same. He's not even on online, so I couldn't even check what's happening on Xbox Live.

After a couple of hours, and my friend asleep on the sofa, underneath her son's bed, I accidentally found a copy of Call Of Duty 4. Sweet! Now I don't know what he was doing with a copy of Call of Duty 4, being 16+ rating, but I will question him discreetly when he gets back from boy scout camp. A bit like finding porn dilemma. I'll tell him he will go blind playing Call Of Duty.

So I stick the disc in, and guess what? Parental control. No idea what the pass code was. Didn't want to wake my friend and create a family crisis so I texted her son, "Give me the pass code on the Xbox. I know you know it or I will tell your mum" How gangsta am I? 

 

Environmental Hazards in Xbox 360

Game consoles contain environmental hazards according to Greenpeace. They contain substances that normally would be banned in children toys. Now I know it is good for them to point this out and I fully agree that we all need to reduce any environmental hazards in any products. But I cant see any kid trying to fit an Xbox 360 in it's mouth. I would soon stop any kid trying to fit my Xbox 360 Elite through it's mouth and scratch my Transformer's faceplate.

Reminds me when the Australian Government years ago, spent a million dollars putting stickers on car batteries, to inform the public, not to "drink it's contents - it could be lethal."

The only real environmental hazard I know, is when I throw my controller at frustration against the wall.Yes I have done it a couple of times in my gaming years, believe or not. OK, maybe more than a couple. So everybody stand back. Crash helmets on. Wait once again as I attempt to do Call of Duty 4, Mile High Club on Veteran.

Easy Xbox 360 Achievements 

Get Back To Work!

These are hard times. There are apparently job cuts happening at my work. But what really intrigues me, is that there is a post on the xbox.com forums that has over 16,000 replies and over 86,000 views since it was posted in January 2008.  The topic? GTA  IV  or Halo 3 ? Nope. It is titled "Get Back To Work" 

The poster asks the question of how many of us log on to xbox.com while at work. Judging by the number of views, a lot of them must have thought it was their own boss posting the thread! Here's the link if you want to view it. You will need to register to xbox.com if you are not a member.

Yes, well I am guilty, I log on when no ones looking. Put a little tab and minimize. Most of us that do log on, probably just want to check what our friends are doing or check the forums. It is heartbreaking when all your friends are online in multi player, blasting away while you sit at a desk. 

Now with these job cuts happening at my work, my colleagues ask me, what if I get the bullet? Less time for gaming? Are you kidding? I will finally get to finish GTA IV. As for a new job, there better be a computer so I can log on to xbox.com.

Wii Fit For The Xbox 360?

A friend of mine has just bought herself a Wii console, just for the sole purpose of a Wii Fit. For those real Xbox gamers who do not know what a Wii Fit is, it is an exercising game with an included mat. You stand on the mat, do menial exercises like hula-hooping and yoga and you can compete with other players as it gives out scores. It also can measure your weight.

Notice I used the term players rather than gamers. This is because I told my friend that a Wii Fit wasn't a real game. She thought she was getting some gamer cred for buying a console and game. Do you shoot zombies or gangsta's? Then no, it isn't a real game.

Anyway getting back to my real point , wouldn't it be great if there was something similar for the Xbox 360 ? No I don't want to lose weight, but it could be EASY achievement points. Imagine "Lose 140 pounds" achievement. Just stand on the mat with three bowling balls, then step off. Bla-doink. Achievement unlocked.

What have GTA or Call Of Duty Got In Common?

If there is one thing that the gaming community is guilty of, then it is "more of the same". When a sequel is released to a popular franchise, gamers rarely want any huge changes. Sure they all like improvements, but any major change in direction and a franchise can quickly become history. But how come some can change where others fail?

It astounds me then sometimes in forums how quickly gamers dismiss a new game simply because it nothing like their favourite game. When Army Of Two was released everybody was expecting Call Of Duty 5, but in co-op. With Two Worlds they wanted Oblivion 2. At least these developers were trying to create a new franchise. But these developers are missing a very powerful trick here. 

So what makes Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto able to change direction but still keep their loyal fanboys happy. A trick they actually learnt from Halo. Stay very close and be part of the gaming communities. In fact all these developers ACTUALLY are out there playing the game. They know what exactly what their communities wanted and wanted to improve in the game.

So if you are a developer starting a new franchise, think about hanging around A LOT of us gamers. Buy us dinner and we would gladly tell you what we want in a game. In fact pay me a hefty bundle plus a cab fare and I KNOW what I want to see in a game. America's Top Model : The Game. Got to be worth millions, hey?

Easy Xbox 360 Achievements

Sick Gamer Indeed.

Now I have not written for a few days, but then again, I am probably in the same boat as a million other gamers who have blogs. We've  been sick. Well no, that's not entirely accurate, but don't tell my boss that. In actual fact we have all been playing GTA IV, but as far as my work is concerned, I am out with Amenorrhoea.

That's right, Amenorrhoea. Isn't that the absence of periods? That's what my boss asked. Teach me to pick something out of a medical dictionary without checking the definition. Knew I should have picked the middle pages, than the first few. I muffled a cough and told him I will back on Friday and hung up. I'll worry about that bridge when I come to it. Just need to find something that sounds like Amenorrhoea and not too bizarre by Friday.

Now Xbox live is great, but when you have some people at work who also have an Xbox 360, they can tell what you have been up to. So when you do call in sick, make sure you tell your fellow gamers at work the situation. Most gamers understand this ethic. This strict code of confidentiality. The need to play a game than work. There is nothing worse than some snitch telling your boss "Sick? But he was on Xbox Live all night playing Halo 3" It has happened to me and I am sure it has happened to some other gamer. 

So in the current climate of GTA IV, I just wonder how many of us have gone sick?

New Button Bashing Technique

I would like to meet a fighting game developer, or dev's as they are called in the industry, and give them some fresh new ideas. Especially on the tired old fighting button bashing technique.

The idea of bashing X,X,X,Y,Y,A,B,B for a combo is ridiculous. This originated from old school arcade games of Tekken or Street Fighter. It was comfortable on the arcade machines to do button bashing as the buttons were BIGGER and positioned stationary on the machine. The joystick was also positioned perfectly and had a nice round knob and quite robust. Well it had to be. Actually you can get an Xbox controller that mimic's these controls, but why should I fork out another sixty bucks after just purchasing a game?

Gamers also have a short attention span when the learning curve on the game becomes long. No one really remembers X,X,Y,X,X, A and then a finishing move A, B. Get real. 

It's time to move on from this technique. Look at the Xbox 360 controllers developer dudes. There is a button called Right Trigger and also, believe it or not, they have put one on the left as well. If you look carefully, there are two more buttons above the triggers called bumpers. They are all there for good reason. They are all comfortable to press. 

How about assigning some moves to these buttons. Like RT to launch a combo and then just "A" or "B" for different combos. Hold down to string a combo. That's right, one button press. Now gamers may argue this might make it too easy, but you can make it more challenging other ways. Like needing to fill up a power bar or something. 

This is why First Person Shooters, like Call Of Duty, Halo are popular. Right Trigger. One button. Easy learning curve, almost instant, and less straining on the fingers!

I could patent the above technique, I have suggested, but I won't. It would cost the developers millions on royalties to me. I would rather they spend it on a game. Who knows, I'll pick up a fighting game one day and it will tell me to RT for a combo!

Easy Xbox 360 Achievements

EA Sports Rock!

God I love them. Ea Sports. They have always known to be generous with achievement points. Whenever you are feeling the need for a quick massive boost or locked in a points battle, you cannot go wrong with an EA Sports title.

Especially their Xbox 360 launch titles. When achievements were in it's infancy, they used to only dish out about 5 achievements for the whole game. Meaning each was around 200 points! Yes you could easy pick up 700 - 1000 points in an afternoon. Wicked.

Yesterday EA announced a new sub-brand of EA Sports called "EA Sports Freestyle" This is exciting! Quote: "The Freestyle brand logo will signify that a game includes simpler control schemes for casual players" So not only do they giveaway huge easy points, they are also going to make it easier. As if they weren't easier enough!

The press release states "New audiences looking for a lighter gaming experience and an easier entry point into EA Sports" Bring it on. More super easy achievements! You'll probably not earn any street cred playing EA Sports Freestyle, but who cares? Press "A" to win the tournament. That's the kind of simpler controls I am looking for. Then bla-doink. Achievement unlocked.

Iron Man Game Sucks!

I had the chance to watch Iron Man yesterday, and I must say what a refreshing comic book super hero movie it was. Very funny and entertaining. However let's face it, every summer now (and I think for the next few years) there's always a comic book super hero movie out with obligatory game. But I have yet to enjoy any super hero movie game yet.

Most are dull and very repetitive. Some don't even relate to the movie, like in Superman Returns. The super villains were created just so Superman could have a boss fight and they weren't even in the movie! Then I suppose it would be boring fighting Lex Luthor all the time.

I downloaded  the Iron Man demo from Xbox Live and sadly I was bored after the first five minutes. I really hate to judge before actually playing a game, but with the calibre of games like GTA, Splinter Cell, Gears Of War 2, etc coming out, I am going to push the boat out and say it is very unlikely to win Game Of The Year. In fact it, screw it, I am going to say it. The game SUCKS. I have only played one level, yet the game still sucks.

Why? Because it is the law of obligatory movie game. Can't wait to rent it though. Might be easy points.

  

 

HD Movie Downloads on Xbox 360

It's been a few months now, but you can download HD movies on Xbox Live. It is the only console to provide HD and Standard movies to download to your hard drive. Microsoft are trying to make the 360 a total media center. What no gripe, Slam? Of course I have a gripe!

I think it is great Microsoft have started this service and it is definitely a step in the right direction. But I don't know anyone who actually uses this facility.

Unless you have the Elite or purchased a bigger hard drive, and your puny 20GB drive is nearly full, you are shafted. The downloads also take forever, like 10 -12 hours, so who is going to wait that long? Imagine you wanted Jackass: The Movie but downloaded Hogan Knows Best. Right, easier just to go down to Blockbuster and rent a movie. Might as well rent a game while you are there as well.

Check my gripe on Xbox 360 HD Player

Easy Xbox 360 achievements

 

GTA IV Price Conspiracy!

I was really looking forward to playing Grand Theft Auto IV this weekend, but I totally screwed up. I under estimated just how important this game was.

When Halo 3 came out, I remember there being a chaotic rush and the hype had created queues on the TV. Not wanting to miss out, I woke up early and rushed to my local game store and discovered the store was almost empty. Not a queue in sight. In fact I hadn't a spoken a word when I reached the counter, before the sale assistant said "Halo 3?" Yes, he knows me quite well. There were 50 copies just sitting on the shelf.

So I figured it might be the same for GTA IV. Boy was I wrong. Spent a whole afternoon along with a mate searching for copies. I had even told my mate the day before not to worry. There will be loads. Went to every game store, department store and even stores just out of town. Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

Now I may be bitter because I can't get a copy, but I smell a price conspiracy here. Lets look at this in detail.

If every store is under-stocked, then when they do re-stock, they can maintain a high price as there is a demand for them. If they flood the market with thousands more copies at launch, then the retailers could be stuck with stock they cannot shift, then they would need to reduce the price to shift copies. 

There is no way distributors can under-estimate stock. They spend millions on market research and number crunching of games sold, surveys,etc. So how is it so that every store seriously ran out of copies within hours? Create an artificial demand and you can always fix the price high to retailers. High demand also develops into a news story which creates hype for the product. It's a win-win situation for a high profile game.

How do I know this? Pure speculation of course. Just like when people try to tell me Bruce Wayne is Batman or Peter Parker is Spiderman. Yeah, right. It's all a conspiracy to make us play more. 

So if you are like me, sitting at home with no GTA, cursing commercialism, then we can only blame ourselves. We made the game popular.

Viking: Battle For Asgard Rubbish!

I would like to know sometimes what goes inside a game developers' mind when they design levels. Take Viking: Battle for Asgard on the Xbox 360. I have been playing for the last couple of days and really enjoying it until the developers decide to ruin the whole experience at the end.

There's a big boss battle in the end, which I don't mind. In fact it is an epic battle and takes quite some time to reach it. You have to fight hordes of enemies and quite a few mini bosses then climb a huge tower to face your arch enemy. All in all a good hour to get there. As I was pressing for time, I decided to quit and save and resume the game at a later time. 

As I loaded the disc back later and selected "Continue Saved Game", behold, the game started way back to the beginning of the first battle! What the......! Now who in their right mind thought this would be a good idea? What sadistic developer figured this would be challenging? Because I would like to meet you dude and say you have never ever played for hours have you? Because the last thing you want to do is quit for fear of losing a checkpoint but to kick you while your down, if you keep failing, you will have to re-start from the beginning!

The replay value of the game goes straight down. I mean who want's to play a game where they have to start all over again? Also to add insult to my already injured fingers from button bashing through the battles, any items like health potions or axes used are not re-spawned when you die! So if you die, the game punishes you by taking away all your vital items forever! If you load a save, the items become unavailable?

Do me a favour Creative Assembly, THINK! If you are not sure, pop a question on the hundreds of forums for the Xbox 360. No gamer would find any of these challenging, just frustrating. Some of the most popular games on the market have one thing in common. Save able checkpoints and lots of them. Call Of Duty, Halo 3, etc. It doesn't take rocket science to figure that out.